two-way 
Japanese hospital
A man went to visit a hospital, the Japanese neighbor, the victim of a serious car accident. Japanese friend found the whole casing, tubing was here, Tube there, cables everywhere.
He stood there in silence next to the bed of a friend of closed eyes, serene, resting with all those hoses connected to its small body.
Suddenly, at one point suddenly the Japanese with their eyes almost out of orbit, shouts
"AOTA NAKAMY SAKAR ANYOBA, MASHUTA SUSHI!"
That said, sighed and died.
The yellow friend's last words were etched in the minds of the type.
On the last day of the novena, after the Mass for the late, type the mother of the deceased and the widow and embracing them said to them
- Fumiko and Dona Dona Shakita, my friend, Fuyiro, seconds before dying I said something that I can not forget :"¡¡¡ SAKAR NAKAMY ANYOBA AOTA, SUSHI MASHUTA !!!".
What do you mean?
Fuyiro
's mother collapses almost instantly and his widow looks scared and the type insists
- What do you say those words, Mrs. Shakita?
The widow looks angry and says,
- means exactly :"¡¡¡ not step OXYGEN HOSE, motherfucker! "
Sincerity
The youngest child of a marriage finds the father having sex with the maid.
The boy went and told his mother what he had seen the mother swallowed his anger and said:
- 'Do not say anything until I tell you. "-
days later
wine grandmother's birthday party and went to all the relatives who were as seventy.
To the best of the party the boy's mother appears and tells all:
- Quiet please Pablito going to tell a story! -
As everyone assumed, expected a little work of theater, a children's story or something. It began Pablito saying
- Last week dad came into the room where the girl was cleaning service, embraced her, kissed her, took off all her clothes. . . -
course everyone turned around to look at the father who at that point I was more red than anything, but the boy continued:
- then removed his clothes, also removed all clothes, lay down and then started to get Dad. . . a meter. . . that thing. . . is that I do not remember his name. . .
And looking at the mother who had a face of triumph, asks:
Mami ¿how is that thing called your neighbor will always suck at the front?? -
Mr. Perez
was time
Food and wife of Mr. Perez made a request: notice that my midwife and several friends recommended me a lot of the nightclub which is at the center say it is fantastic and I have really wanted to go, shall we?.
Mr. Perez, hardworking man with multiple obligations refused.
were several nights and days until wife finally convinced him.
That night came in a taxi heading to the aforementioned shack at the entrance to the recipient in charge of security, good evening, how are you going tonight Mr. Smith?.
Incredulous, the wife asks: Did you know?. Yes, answered Mr. Smith, went to school together.
arrive at cloakroom to leave their coats and greets the manager: Welcome, Mr. Smith give me your coat!.
Again the wife asks, "And she knows why you?.
used to work at the office of secretary.
I was sitting on the waiter: Good evening, "Mr. Smith as usual?.
's wife can not believe it and annoying asks: Is it because you came to this place.
As you think, I sure is confusing me with someone else. !
The show starts on time at eleven o'clock at night, a group of dancers, the show begins, all wearing skirts so short that left nothing to the imagination, the most beautiful is off the stage while singing and goes to Mr. Smith, she turns her back and tilts so that you are just at the height of his face with those divine prominences which usually lay people and says:
Who are these pompita?.
And all the others with one voice cry: Well, Mr. Perez!, And all stand and begin to clap which gets really angry wife and almost dragged out of place to Mr. Perez quel could not be more insulting, asks for a taxi which was already standing there and she kept insulting to the taxi driver interrupted:
A that Mr. Smith, this time picked up a good old brave and do not like the others!
REQUEST A PIZZA IN THE FUTURE ............. NOT TOO FAR FOR SURE!
What follows is a description of what may become the order a pizza in the U.S. in 2008.
from the U.S. correspondent adds that this imaginary dialogue would be very funny ... if not it continues this way things will become very real.
OPERATOR: Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. "I can have your National Identification Number?
CLIENT: This ... is that I just want to order a pizza ...
OPERATOR: But for it or I must have your National Identification Number.
CLIENT: Well ... my number is ... wait ... 610 2049998 - 45-54610.
OPERATOR. Thank you, Mr. Sheehnan. I see that you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, his home telephone is 494 2366, your office is in Lincoln Insurance telephone 745 2302, and his cell is 266 2566. And you're calling, I see from home.
CLIENT: Is it really true ... But where does all this information?
OPERATOR. Are we connected to the HSS.
CUSTOMER: What's that?
OPERATOR. The National Security System. That connection adds only 15 seconds to the time of each order. Well, what pizza do you want?
CLIENT: I'd like two of his "All meat pizza special."
OPERATOR: I do not think that's a good idea, sir ...
Customer: What? What say?
OPERATOR: Sir, your medical and other sensors indicate that you are hypertensive, and what is more, cholesterol and triglycerides and double the acceptable values. The National Health Insurance does not allow us to sell something that is for you a very dangerous choice.
CUSTOMER: But ... What do you recommend?
OPERATOR: What would be ideal for you our "Low fat" soy pizza. I assure you will love.
CUSTOMER: And because it imagines that it can get to like? OPE
SPACERS: we see on screen is that you consulted last week in a public library the book: "Soy Beans for the gourmet." So I suggested the soy pizza.
CLIENT: Well, well ... Send me two family-sized.
OPERATOR: Right. That will be enough for you, for his wife and two children. And the leftovers will feed her two dogs. The total is U.S. $ 49.99.
CLIENT: Well, take out my credit card ...
OPERATOR: I'm sorry, sir. You must pay in cash. We see that your VISA credit card is totally exceeded.
CUSTOMER: Do not worry, until they go to the ATM to get cash.
OPERATOR: Do not think it's possible, sir. You can not remove it and also exceeded the limit of available cash.
CLIENT: Come alike. Me the cash I have at home. And we are hungry, how long will it take?
OPERATOR: We're a little delayed, about 55 minutes. I see you're close, if you want you can remove them personally, but I do not know if you want to upload pizzas on a motorcycle.
CUSTOMER: And as you know will not go by car?
OPERATOR: I get that because you are late in paying dues, his car was seized by the seller for two months. Instead his Harley and is paid and you filled the tank yesterday afternoon.
CLIENT: But that does not go to #&%#º/()=@@!!!!
OPERATOR: I advise you, sir, to moderate his language. I see that was reported by a traffic cop for 14 months for insulting y. .. ah, yes ... I see a judge sentenced him to spend three months in prison for the same crime ... And he went out two weeks ago ... Are these the first pizzas to care since he was released?
CUSTOMER .... (Speechless).
OPERATOR: Anything else, sir?
Customer: Yes I have the Coupon you a notice by a 2-liter Coca Cola free.
OPERATOR: Sorry, but our notice in the fine print, contained a clause stating that we are inhibited from offering drinks for diabetics, as the newly enacted Constitution indicates. And you appear in a recent checkup with incipient diabetes. Thank you very much ...
At a party is about a waiter to offer a girl more whiskey:
- Madame, "like another drink?
- No, thanks, I hurt for the legs.
- Are you numb?
