New Ideas For Birthday Charts

Cuban Joke: A Cuban in Heaven Jokes very funny

A Cuban in heaven

A Cuban, which was very good living, dying,

as was expected, went to Heaven. Took more than a thousand years enjoying the

eternity when one day he said to God:

- my God, I want you let me know by

Hell night, to know how is that place.

God in His infinite goodness, he said,

- If it be your will, so be it.

Our good man went to Hell tonight.

lowered to its entry-white marble stairs.

saw neon lights everywhere and a door opened so

spectacular, leading to an Eden crossed by rivers of rum, whiskey, champagne

, and packed with the most beautiful women ever

had seen, all calling him naked, took by storm, with what he ate

; in Finally, he spent the best night of his life and returned at dawn

Heaven.



The next morning, talked to God and expressed his desire to move permanently

Hell. God in His infinite mercy,

again accepted. Fixed

bureaucratic registration affairs in heaven, a week was way the hell.

went down the same stairs and opened the door again but this time

fell into a giant pot full of sulfur.

He sank into her as the devil stick it with his trident .. With great effort, managed to abide to the edge, stuck his head and said to the devil, who lay on his throne:

- Lord of Darkness, what's this? I was here last week

and everything was wonderful ....

And the Devil said,

- You, as a Cuban you are, you should know, that's one thing to be a tourist

and another resident.

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couples

Carlos was very fond of fishing. Every weekend is going fishing without paying attention to the weather. An early Sunday morning went as usual to river. It was cold and raining so I decided to go home.

came and went to his room, undressed and stood near his wife.

How's the weather today! It's terrible he told his wife.

And the wife says: Yes, and my idiot husband went fishing





Dear John:

I could not sleep since I broke our engagement. Will not you forgive and forget? Your absence my heart. I was a fool, nobody can take your place. I love you.

With all my love ...

Belinda

PD. Congratulations on winning the lottery this week







A woman awakes during the night and discovers that her husband is in bed.

Puts on robe and goes downstairs to find him. She is sitting on the kitchen table with a cup of coffee before him. He

seems to be in deep thought, staring at the wall. And watch as you wipe away a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What, dear?", Whispers as he enters the room, "Why are you here at this time of night?".

The husband takes his coffee, "Do you remember 20 years ago when we were dating," Yes, I remember, "she says. The husband pauses. The words do not come easily.

" Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car having sex? "

"Yes, I remember," she says, sitting in a chair beside him.

The husband continues: I remember when I pointed the gun in his face and said, you marry my daughter or I send you to jail for 20 years?

"I remember that too," the woman answered softly.

The husband is dried a tear from her cheek and says, "Today would have gone!".





A woman enters the kitchen and finds her husband with a flyswatter.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

Hunting flies, "she replied.

"Oh, and you killed any? She asked.

"Yes, 3 males and two females," he replied. Intrigued

question: How can you know that?

And the answer: 3 were in the beer can and two were on the phone

Indentations In Skin From Clothing

new chemical element: WOMAN

Analysis Department
1 .- Chemical Analysis:

Element: Woman Symbol

Mu

Discoverer: Adam Atomic Mass

: Appropriate in 53.6 kg. (But varies between 40 and 150 kg.)

Frequency: abundant quantities in all urban areas.



2 .-

a. Physical Properties - Surface usually covered by a layer of paint

b. - Boils, freezes for unknown reasons. C.

- Melts if given special treatment

d. - Bitter if not used correctly. E.

- rarely is found in nature in pristine condition. F.

- Cede under pressure on precise points ...



3 Chemical Properties

..- a. - has great attraction for gold, silver and a wide range of

gemstones.

b. - Absorbs large quantities of expensive substances. C.

- May explode spontaneously without prior warning and for no apparent reason. D.

- Insoluble in liquids, but activity increases by saturation in

ethyl alcohol. E.

- lowering agent is the most powerful money known to man.



4 .- Common uses: a.

- Highly ornamental, especially in sports cars.

b. .- It may be helpful for relaxation. C.

- very effective cleaning agent.



5 .- Tests:

a. - The pure sample turns pink when discovered in its natural

.

b. - Turns green when placed beside a better specimen.



6 .- Potential Hazards:

a. - Highly dangerous except in experienced hands.

b. - Illegal to possess more than one, although it may take several

in different locations, while not in contact, in which case it is inevitable

a violent explosion.



Warnings:

a. - No two are alike.

b. - While it seems an abundant element, is considered a scarce

so easily is not one in good condition, So

value what you have.